she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
