the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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