your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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