She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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