i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
