Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
