I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
