You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I think people are normalizing furries
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
