debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
