sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
