google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
