after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
