Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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