Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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