Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
