You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
So here I am, sexting at work.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
