are you so shy because you have an std?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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