I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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