how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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