I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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