ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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