I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
