I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
