i just sold back the books i vomitted on
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
