He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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