Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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