I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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