I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
