He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
