That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
