AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize