Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
