He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I just googled if crying burns calories
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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