Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
As shirtless as possible
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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