Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize