He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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