Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
