I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
