you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
