real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Randomize
