DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
