drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
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