so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
