Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
