I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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