; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
It was confusing and full of hummus
this boner is exhausting
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
i've created a new STD.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
