I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
