I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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