grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
