dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
