The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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