Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
