it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
