Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
