One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
