He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
one two three fourrrrnication!
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I just googled if crying burns calories
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
