Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize