im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize