People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
