I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
