well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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